


Toxic Murderers

by NebulaFox_101



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 2015 Lapidot, F/F, I’ll add more tags as the story progresses, Murder, Murderers!au, There’s this huuuge Mafia involved but maybe I’ll add it to later chapters, mafia!au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8744716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NebulaFox_101/pseuds/NebulaFox_101
Summary: Entry #1667: I recently have found a woman here who was out wandering out in MY forest. Being the kind person I am, I decided to take her in as a slave to eventually harvest her organs. But...I appear to be having difficulties with completing my..task...





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna redo this entire fanficfion that I started on November of 2016 I’m sure. I will not say that I will finish it cuz I will jinx myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gonna redo the story and hopefully will keep it going instead of abandoning it, heh.

Good evening, clods. You must have wandered to the wrong location because you must be expecting some sort of sappy story in this fictional story, no? Well, allow me to briefly skim through what will most likely happen during the course of this tale; I will get caught for murdering those 56.5 innocent human beings and will be sentenced well past my lifetime by 28 times or be sentenced to an immediate death. There. Done. Now go scurry along to someplace where things aren’t as dark or gloomy as here.

 

 

Hmm? You stayed?. Well, the only logical explanation that I could come up with for your stay is either you are eager to find a story that relies heavily on violence. I do admire your bravery and for that, we shall begin...

 

Let us start with a simple, basic fact; Everyone has a problem. A flaw in which defines said a person from the rest of society. These little flaws can be that one is a drug addict to one of rambling too much about video games. (That is how I view the human personality. Just a giant cluster-fuck of mistakes and flaws.) Now, MY problem derived from the moment I was in the womb.

My “condition” is that I, unfortunately, have both post-traumatic stress disorder and antisocial personality disorder. I imagine that some of you reading this are wondering to themselves; ‘Hey, I have APD too!’ and to that, I say, ‘Lucky us because that means that we both are failures at socializing.’

So, in retrospect, antisocial personality disorder is usually diagnosed when the following symptoms are present: denying the truth, break the law(s), act impulsively, and lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others.

And I got PTSD from.....a-actually, I’d rather not speak of it...for the moment so you will be forced to read the next chapters to figure it out. HAH!

So yes, I've always had this problem. A problem that doctors weren't able to fix even with all the prescribed medication that they gave me. My mind was and now will forever be poisoned and corrupt due to the incident that happened a few years ago ( thanks,____ ).

 

After that episode, I now brutally murder males as a coping mechanism. It's...surprisingly easy to lure men into one's house. In fact, he will more than happily take the offer, thinking he can stick his knife in me. Heh. All those men had another thing coming. Hah.

Well anyways, the reasons as to why I haven’t been caught yet is because 1.I know exactly how to cover up my tracks and 2. I live pretty far from civilization, approximately 34 miles. ‘Why live so far out?’ May you ask? It’s because I’m already being wanted. NOT for the whole killing thing, it’s for a different reason. Heh.

Ever since the ...(cue suspenseful music) incident occurred, I felt as if the sane part of me had been stored in the back of my mind. My old personality (who many would find annoying), my old friends (who would use to care for me), my family (....) It's gone, gone, gone..without them here, I spend most of my time in the countryside where I hope that no cop would end ever find me. I live in a rusty barn who hasn't had a pain job since 1985 or something (poor thing).

But staying in the barn isn’t the only thing I do. You see, I absolutely LOVE to go into the forest...but I dislike bugs. Fuck those clods.

I know this forest like the back of my palm and I'm planning to keep it that way for as long as I shall live. Every stick, every stone, every animal. I have them memorized. Hey, have I ever mentioned that I have a talent of remembering the most unnecessary of details?

I was relaxing one day in the forest at night, November 6 if I can remember correctly. I had just finished taking my daily venue to go stargazing and was lying against a honey locust tree. I jolted up to a sitting position when I suddenly heard crunching leaves from a few yards away from me. The noise pierced through the air like a knife.

‘That is...interesting.’ I internally grumbled ‘it is-‘ I hastily checked my digital watch, ‘12:34 a.m and no one else should know where my location is....’

I had sweat dripping down my face because I had feared that the police have finally tracked me down. I tipped my head to give one last glance at the pitch black sky that had countless stars of all shapes and sizes scattered across it like a kindergartener’s project that had one too many sprinkles added in.

I felt my insides begin to squirm as I watched the mysterious 5’ 10” person approach the pond with a giant, dirt, and blood covered body bag in tow. Reaching in for my brown hoodie (thanking the stars for not doing laundry as this was a perfect camouflage) and began to feel the knife I had in my pocket for comfort.

‘What are they up to?....I swear to all the clouds in the sky they better not throw whatever business they have into my lake...’

I crept slowly towards them in order for little short me to take a better look at this idiot. Just as this stranger was about to dump the body bag into the lake, I lunged my body against them and clung onto their back, wrapping my arms around their waist and managing to capture one arm during the process. As I drew my knife closer to their stomach, I felt something sharp graze against the size of my neck. Great. So this mystery person came prepared with...razors? Just perfect, I was about to make my kill count 84 too...looks like they really aren’t a clue-

"Listen here, friend," they lowly growled the last word out, " I don't mind stabbing you tonight but right now, I'm genuinely tired. So, just put down that cliche excuse of a knife before I slip one of these onto the side of your neck." Judging from her feminine voice and partially revealing clothes, she's a...girl? Huh. Never expected that, but yet again you don't expect a lot of things in life. She's got quite the attitude too.  
"No. YOU listen to me, ok?! You are on my property so scurry your little ass on out of here-" before I had a chance to even finish my sentence, I felt her arm get tense for a mere second before she attempted to drill down the piece of metal on me. I quickly shoved myself off of her back and landed on the ground. My elbow rammed into the side of a large boulder next to me.  
I scurried a few feet away from her as she collapsed onto the ground. Huh? I peered at her and noticed that somehow, me propelling myself off of her caused one of her razors to sink onto the side of her shoulder blade. Jeez, that must suck. I towered over her in this new position and peered down at her while she let out small whimpers. I aimed my hand to the side of her neck and punched her as hard as I could to knock her out, successfully.

Slowly and carefully, she began closing her eyes, I took this as an opportunity to grab my kitchen from the ground that had slipped out of my pocket and hover it above her neck. The steel knife was about to make contact with her skin when sirens were blaring from a distance.  
Sighing, I quickly retracted my knife and attempted to help this girl up. I notice something has soaked through the elbow of the hoodie-dammit. I ran as fast as I could hole dragging her by the hand as the police sirens drew closer and closer to our location.

\-----1 hour and 30 minutes later-----  
I nearly collapsed when I finally reached my barn. It had been so DAMN hard to navigate through the forest WITHOUT a flashlight. I carefully leaned the girl against a few wooden crates that were huddled around the entrance of the barn before kicking the large doors open. Now that I didn’t have the fear of the law on my ass, I searched for a wagon using the moon as my only light source for the moment. 10 minutes later, I emerged from the barn with a dusty red wagon behind me. It took another 10 minutes to just get her on and drag her back inside to my abode. After entering the barn, I laid the girl down on the green torn up the couch and left to search for the first aid kit using the now equipped flashlight. While rummaging through the cabinets on the 2nd-floor bathroom, I heard a hoarse voice speaking quietly from the room I was just in moments ago. I decided to ignore it for the time being and finally found the kit. I closed all of the remaining open cabinet doors and practically leaped down the stairs.

Reaching the bottom of the flight of stairs, I flashed my flashlight on her to examine her. Some of the observations I made were; 1.wild navy blue hair, 2. Four piercings in her left ear, 3. She wore a leather jacket, 4. A blue crop top underneath, 5. Had torn jeans that were also splattered in blood, 6. Wore jet black mountain boots. This girl was screaming “I’m a delinquent and/or a slut”.

I placed on fresh latex-free gloves and place the first aid kit next to me on the ground. I dragged a stool over and placed on top of it a glass of water and a few pain-killers. Laying across the scratches up coffee table was the medical table, tweezers, cotton balls, a pair of scissors, gauze pads, and rubbing alcohol. While dripping the alcohol onto one of the cotton balls, I heard her whisper in a weak voice, "A-are you going to torture me?"

I shook my head.

"Are you going to kill me?" She had a small frown with tearful eyes.

I shook my head again.

"Then," she had the most confused face I've ever seen on a human before, "what are you going to do?"

"....hmm, I am not too sure yet..."


	2. The Great Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Jesus Christ, I’m got dragged back to the house of with some crazy asshole. Can’t fucking believe this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in Lapis’s point of view)

"What do you mean, help me?" I sneered at the tall stranger. I placed a hand over my eyes as to shield them from the mysterious blinding light that was hitting me.  
He...she...they, took a sharp breath as they drew closer and closer to me. The cloud of drowsiness that was swirling inside of my brain was rapidly fading away. I blinked a few times to get my conscious back and soon realized I was laying down on something old and crusty. I didn’t like it one bit.

I signaled for them to lower their flashlight to get a better look at them. But the only thing I could make out was their grey sweatpants as the flashlight was pointed towards the ground. Damnit. 

With newfound confidence, judging by the way their eyes narrowed at me, "Well," they began, "You did inflict injury upon yourself and from my hindsight, I assumed that the next best course of action was to drag you back to my place. I am sure that you must not have wanted to be kept behind bars this evening, hm? “ the stranger finished with a scoff. I could practically feel their cocky attitude just...radiating off of them like the glow from a firefly. With their hand placed on their hip as they lean their weight onto one foot, I didn’t know whether to feel angry or snarky. 

Hopefully without the person noticing, I tried to search for my blades in my pocket but surprise surprise! They were missing. I desperately looked around me to try and locate my shit. I stopped mid-search when I heard their quiet snickering. Puffing my cheeks out in anger, I shot out of the couch like a rocket to try and clutch the collar of their hoodie. Lemme tell you, that was a huge mistake. The pain from the cut on my shoulder immediately coursed through my neck and a good portion of my upper right back. Their snickering crescendoed as they held a few razors in front of my face. Unfortunately, I was a bit too distracted by the pain on my shoulder to be able to reach up to take them away again.

"Nyeheheh,” they boasted. Asshole. “Looking for these? Well unless you start treating me with the respect and admiration I deserve, you will not be receiving this-"

I flung myself off of their terribly worn out couch before they had a chance to finish their sentence and made my way to the barn doors, shoved them open. I stood there for a few seconds as I scanned the horizon.’...where...am I?’ All I saw was a sheet of black practically engulfing the landscape around me. The crisp air from the outside and the stomping of sneakers from behind me was enough to snap me back to reality and cause me to bolt the hell out of that place. My kidnapper was continuously yelling something inaudible at me. I paid no mind whatsoever. After taking the first few steps out of view from the barn, I heard crunching noises underneath me while something as soft as feathers was brushing against my face. I ended up running out towards a field of wheat. Sure, it was pretty annoying since I was literally leaving a trail of stomped wheat which made it a heck of a lot easier for them to find me but I was too high on adrenaline to stop. I continued to run the barn house was out of sight.

I slowed down to a moderate jog after roughly what seemed to be 15 minutes of pure sprinting (I gotta thank my mom for placing me on the track team later). Clutching my chest as my heart was pounding against it, I was covered from head to toe with my own sweat. The cool air from the night was DEFINITELY not helping at all as my teeth began to clatter together like an audience from Shakespeare’s time just watched a show of his. Hell, god knows how long I was jogging until I came to a stop. After walking for what I think was probably 15 minutes, I found myself utterly lost. It didn't help that I couldn't spot a single thing in sight thanks to the darkness of the night. 

"Just where am I?" I grumbled. Deciding not knowing what else to do, I climbed on top of a boulder that was in the middle of the wheat field. From my new position, I kept my eyes open to see if there was any sign of a town or a light. Sighing in defeat, I tilted my head upwards and I saw the starry night sky gazing down at me. I leaned backward and lied flat against the ice cold rock. It’s freezing temperatures penetrating through my clothes and onto my skin.

Roughly around 5 minutes passed by before I heard tires screeching a few meters behind me. The blinding headlights revealed my location and I scrambled to get down. I landed fucking HARD on my left ankle but I didn’t show much attention to it. Surely this person was out for my liver cuz WHO ELSE WOULD TRY AND FUCKING FIND ME IN A FIELD OF WHEAT THAT STRETCHED FOR MILES?! Before I could finish hearing the engine being shut off, I booked it towards the opposite direction of the truck. Pushing past the strands of wheat from my face, I ran and I ran until my lungs were begging for me to for me to stop once more. 

I ignored them.

Until I literally could no longer feel my left ankle.

Kneeling down on the stone cold dirt, I gasped for air. I found a pretty large oak tree nearby and I crawled towards it. I rested my body on it and closed my eyes. I decided that It would be a good place to rest for a while until I had recovered the previous energy that I have lost. Taking deep breaths, I plunged into the void of darkness for a few moments. I wrapped my arms around myself as the cold was finally getting to me. Peaking once more to the sky, I noticed something falling from the sky that had a striking resemblance to that of dust. _Snowflakes_ , I thought. _It was....snowing._

Kicking a nearby rock in frustration, I closed my eyelids in annoyance. I later then screamed in pain as it was the same ankle I landed on that I had used to kick the rock. Of course, it had to snow now that someone was after me and I had no idea where the rest of civilization was.

Huffing, i soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

Fuck  
Me.


	3. Corruption on the Horizon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fucking clod just escaped from my clutches! I need to find her before she contacts ANY authorities. Peridot out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Through Peridot’s point of view (this is also where the rewrite from 2 years ago ends)

‘Shit. She is getting away!’ I did my best to leap into her and hopefully pin her to the ground but she was far agiler than I had anticipated. Stumbling to regain my balance, I growled as I saw the blue haired woman sprint off into the dark void beyond the barn. I too ran into the unknown and hesitated once I reached the blistering conditions of the outside, ‘What in the clodding hell should I do!?’ 

I came to the conclusion of pursuing her through the aid of my best companion, my red 1995 Ford F-350. I hastily made my way around the perimeter of the barn to hop into this glorious truck of mine. I inserted the beaten up key into its slot and the engine purred to life. Unfortunately, by the time I actually got this lovely hunk of metal to start, I couldn't spot the bluenette anywhere, even with the one working headlight he had.

"Damn it!" I pounded my fists on the eroded steering wheel, then quickly recoiling my hand onto my chest simply because of the fact that jESUS CHRIST THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH.

Sadly, my plot of slicing open that woman’s insides was lost the moment she ran out the barn door. Tsk tsk tsk. Through only a vivid imagination, I could have predicted that roughly around this time, I would be juuust about done removing her liver. Up until recently, I discovered that I could sell body parts to other people through internet trafficking. I will not go into detail as to which website I log onto as to keep secrecy among the Homewo-...I mean, nothing. 

Anyways, selling this girl’s liver could get me about $157,000 and that is more than enough to finish paying for my truck. Heh. 

“That is why I MUST find her...” I mumbled, carefully placing my hands on the steering wheels and tighten my grip around it as I rammed my foot on the gas pedal. Almost instantly, the truck jetted forward, leaving only behind dust particles and small rocks. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Grrr, that nuisance...” I huffed underneath my breath as I came to a stop near that Skip’s rock I have seen about 5 times. 2 hours and 40 minutes I have wasted in desperately trying to locate that girl. I drove through all the dirt roads I have created throughout the years and yet, not even a single glint of her I have caught. Hell, the inch of snow that was piling up on the ground REALLY did not help much on the road. As well as the clodding frost that began to accumulate on the corners of the windshield. Just as I was about to give up on the search, a brilliant but nerve-wracking idea popped into mind. I decided to exit the 5 acres of wilderness that I call my shelter and look for her near existing routes. 

“I should go and continue my search on route 109 as it is the closest road near here first...” Humming and quietly rapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I drove to said route to look for the blue-soon-to-be-victim hair colored victim. 

Thankfully, the sun began to rise up from its slumber as its rays of light rippled throughout the vast sky. I haven’t even realized this until noticed that I could see everything around me more clearly. The trees and ground were filtered with a light shade of baby blue that even made a fraction of my anxiety go down. 

‘This is definitely going to help m-‘ I let out a loud yawn before accidentally causing my truck to swerve. The screeching from the rubber against the cement definitely ripped me out of my sleepy state, but only briefly. ‘Maybe...I should take a break...’ once again nodding to myself, I drove to the side of the road and shut my car off. I then rested my chin on top of my hands that were still gripping the wheel like dear life. 

And in the final moments of my attempt at staying awake, I saw her.

Lo and behold. 

Passed out in the middle of the highway.

“God damn this girl...” I facepalmed as hard as I could but soft enough to disrupt the prescribed goggles I wore. Fluttering my eyelids to desperately try and wake myself up, I turned the key to spark the engine to life once more. Due to the lack of sleep, I failed to realize that the truck’s engine was loud enough to even wake a mother bear from her deep slumber in the middle of her hibernation. I prayed for every living and non-living god out there for her to not wake up and thankfully, my prayers were answered. She didn’t even flinch. ‘Heh, that clod....’

My truck crept up silently towards her as I cautiously jumped down onto the pavement. Rolling up the sleeves on my sweater, I practically used 80% of my chemical energy to convert it into kinetic energy to help me drag this lump of ice-cold flesh and bones onto the passenger seat. Gasping for breath and slightly dejected for not being as strong as I wanted to be, I shut the door on the passenger’s seat and shuffled to the drivers' seat. Plopping myself down on top of my favorite dry-mustard-covered seat, I made my way back home.

 

Wait.

 

Was that...

a police car coming? 

God damn it. 

I came to a halt after I saw the red and blue lights flashing in all of my mirrors. Nervously, I lowered the window next to me and waited for my appending doom. The deathly silence was chocking me. Until I realized, it was not so quiet. 

Tick.

My watch was still functioning and its quiet ticks saved me from the unforgiving non-living being called quiet.

Tock.

Something else was making noise. It was the mysterious human beside me. Her breathing was shallow and raspy. Mm. Shouldn’t have gone out in the cold.

Tick.

I turned my head to face my rear view mirror. The police got out of his vehicle, slamming the door shut.

Tock.

I took note of his hand hoisted perfectly around his gun, the sweat bullet running down his forehead, his uneven smile. He was absolutely ecstatic for giving out his first ticket in the morning.

Tick.

In fact, I think it is his first ticket ever, considering how there are no wrinkles detected on his face

Tock.

He hesitantly approached my truck.

Tick.

Something erupted from within me as if I was reverted back to a primitive human, fighting to keep myself alive. I launched myself out of my seat and attacked the police officer. 

Tock.

Gunshots turned into deafening noise. Snarling turned into inconsistent screaming. I was acting like a wild animal. No, a beast.

Tick.

...a corrupted beast...

..something has stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback would be fine


	4. Hey So, Can I Leave?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just woke up in this stranger’s bathtub and I gotta somehow escape from this termite infested prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in Lapis’s POV.

“Mmm...where...am I?” I woke up feeling dazed and confused a-and....really wet?? Tapping everything around me, I realized that my entire body (with clothes still on thankfully) was submerged under warm water in a bathtub. My head was the only thing that was sticking out. 

“Hey, you are finally awake. How unfortunate.” I jumped at the sudden new voice that came from the side of the bathtub. Turning over to see who it was, this figure was wearing a skeleton bandana and goggles that made them look like they just came out of chemistry class. However, something about them brought me a sense of nostalgia. At first, it wasn’t their appearance, it was their voice....it seems so familiar....and that’s when it hit me. This was the same person who dragged me back to the barn in the first place. 

“....AAAAAAAA-“ 

“Keep your fucking voice down you insolent clod!” A bandaged hand was trying to slap itself over my mouth. Dodging the hand as quickly as possible, I attempted rocket my way out of here using the rim of the bathtub as a launching pad. This person didn’t even flinch as they watch me slip and fall back into the bathtub. 40% of the water made its way out and splashed onto my...captor? Savior?

Stuttering, I tried to form an apology, “I-um, Hey...heh, oops.“ 

They huff underneath their breath as they glanced at the now wet hoodie they had on. I let out a quiet snicker as the being stomped over to the door and slammed it behind them. Soon after the tall gremlin stormed out, I tried to stand up again. And once again, tumbling down I went, back to my sitting position on the bathtub. My ankle REALLY did hurt like a bitch now. I decided to take a glance at it and to my surprise, it was tightly wrapped in a bandage along with a pea pack taped to it. Huh...was it them that- they re-entered the bathroom with a green hoodie. It seemed more comfortable than the last.

“Okay. Let us start from the beginning...” this person sighed deeply before standing up straight, crossing their arms and towering over my figure. “My name is Peridot Johnson and we will be roommates for the next couple of days,” and with a grumble, they added, “despite me opposing the idea of it...”

“....wait, what?” I mustered out. Honestly, I was so confused and shocked that this person that I have barely even have known for less than 4 hours wanted to all of a sudden wanted to become roommates. What gives her the right t-

“You heard me, clod. Because of your ignorance, I have to now tolerate what you thought would be inconsequential actions!” She finished her sentence with a sneer. 

About to question her for what she meant by that, a howling noise came from the outside of the bathroom. Luckily, there was a window on the opposite side of the bathtub and what I saw was a huge, but I mean HUGE snow storm. The corners of the window were covered with frost. Oh...damn...

“There's a storm outside...” I uttered, out of breath. So I’m guessing that I will be staying here for a bit. 

“I am fully aware of that, yes.” They tapped their foot on the wooden floor as they continued, rubbing their temples, “Ugh. If a god were to descend from the heavens right now, my only whim would be to exile you from my life.” They rested their body against the sink, clearly not looking forward to sharing this barn with me. 

Roughly 10 minutes have passed now and I was waiting for them to start a conversation. Uuggghh, I’m going to die of boredom in this place of theirs. Oh well, maybe I should ask questions until they get too annoyed to answer or whatever. 

“So uh, why am I lying in a bathtub filled with water?” I lifted my arms that was dripping with water. 

This stranger slowly turned their head towards me and what I felt was that they were...what was the word, boring? their eyes past their scratched goggles. “You were out ‘cold’,-” a snicker was followed by them and a sigh from me, “-so, because of the weather complications, I had to fill up my tub with room temperature water in order to attempt to make you become conscious again.”

This new information shook me a bit. I was passed out?? Frantically, I pressed on, “F-for how long? What time is it?” 

“Meh, since 5 a.m and the current time is a little past 3 p.m. At 12, I was almost certain you were dead”

“Then why couldn’t you take me to the hospital then?!” I was fuming. Couldn’t this person at least drop me o-

They tapped the window on the bathroom and I’m sure they had a resting bitch face on.

Feeling my cheeks getting warmer because of the fact that I forgot a literal storm stopped us from actually getting help, I turned my head to face the opposite wall and mumbled, “N-never mind.”


	5. New Roomate...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely cannot believe this...I am slowly losing my sanity because of they blue-haired witch! Honestly, I am just about down with her and step by step, my patience is dimming faster than the darkness of when death approached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peridot's point of view

Honestly, this useless human of a clod is unbelievable.

For the past three days, she has been lying in the newly acquired hammock that we decided to construct for her (with the help of one another’s cooperation, we got it done in under an hour) because there would be no way in an eon that I would allow this sick delinquent anywhere near my bed! Seriously, what was she expecting once she faced the harsh environment from outside world with such a thin layer of clothes on? 

Currently, I am having a difficult time trying to sympathize with what Lazuli is feeling right now (yes, she told me her name. Approximately 26 hours and 47 minutes ago.) Yesterday, she told me to "give her a break" after I gave a presentation about how I take care of myself better than her because I have the common sense and the knowledge to not run into an oncoming blizzard. Afterwards, I told her that I cannot give her a break since she had no job in the first place and to which she just laughed. She then told me that due to the symptoms of sickness she is experiencing, she requires a lot of time to recover. 

Anyways, my main priority is to extract her organs The only reason why I keep them around is that of the organ harvesting I need to do. Sadly, I lost my only blade when I was pursuing Lazuli. I am almost 100% sure that it is right outside of the entrance of the barn BUT I definitely do not want to risk getting cold. 

“Hey, P-Peridot, was it?” A hoarse voice echoed throughout the hollow barn. its way across the barn to where I was positioned in the living room, intaking my ham and cheese sandwich. It was roughly around 12 in the afternoon. The storm outside continued to pound against the walls of the outside. Cool air was seeping through the crevices of the barn’s flawed wooden structure. It forced me to wear a blanket over my already thick layer of clothes that consisted of a snow jacket, 2 pairs of pants and-

“S-so...is it?”

Ugh, “Yes it is Lazuli. I would have appreciated if you ate more before your visit to my abode so that fish brain of yours had enough strength to memorize the, oh so prodigious name: Peridot” 

“Hey!” Her voice boomed. Following after this, I heard a thud sound fine from the other level, most likely her just standing up. My suspicions were confirmed when the floorboards began to squeak like a squirrel getting its skull crushed with a tire. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t-! Umm...what was that r-word that you use sometimes?” ...I am disappointed in her but honestly not surprised by the fact that even a mere comeback she cannot complete without my assistance. 

“Is the word you are looking for ‘Ridicule’?” I unconsciously rolled my eyes as I chomped down into my forgotten sandwich resting in my hands. 

“Yeah! That’s right! So can you please stop? I don’t know what I’ve done to you..”

“Hmm. Well, let us assess the situation at hand, no? You violated some law I assume because you got in the premises of ‘private property’, you caused me to do something...unforgiving to a police officer and now I have to distribute my supply of food that I have specifically SAVED for to help me last through this entire fucking snowstorm but you, YOU-“ I twisted my lips into a deep frown as I gathered my accumulated rage and in a single breath, I let the dam shatter,-“YOU CLOD RUINED EVERYTHING!” I finished my sentence with a sharp snarl. Expecting her to plead at my feet, telling me that she regrets being such a clod, she giggled. She. Giggled! I felt absolutely offended! Was I not loud enough?! Adding extra emphasis, I stomped my foot on the ground and slammed my sandwich onto the ground, “What is it now!?” This truly was a horrendous situation. I glared at the floor above me. Oh if only she could witness my face right about now...

I imagine that this witch was clutching her stomach after the countless minutes of wheezing following my outburst. Her words came out slurred and disoriented, as well as a bit muffled. Most likely she was trying to cover her mouth with her hand, a weak attempt I would add, “Wh-who uses the word ‘clod’ still?” 

I screamed at the top of my lungs at the floorboards above me before storming to the barn door, ripping off the rope that bonded the handles of both. The air invited itsel inside not a moment later as I wrapped the blanket around me a bit tighter. 

Honestly, this useless human of a clod is unbelievable and unbearable.

And I REALLY need to find my knife.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback/ constructive criticism is much appreciated


End file.
